So This Is Family (KenLee Fanfic) (Lee's POV)
by mookz
Summary: One-shot Fanfic about the OTP KenLee or Kenny X Lee. This version is from Lee's POV. Kenny's POV by Polywhik.


A cool wind blows from the East, rustling the leaves and carrying the distant sound of walkers. The sun is falling quickly and already the trees cast long shadows across the sand. I splay my hands on the rock I sit on, feeling the cold slowly turn the tips of my fingers cold. Briefly closing my eyes, I savour the moment- the ability to feel not only with my hands, but with my entire being. It's amazing how easy it is to lose part of who you are, the part that lives for emotion when you have devoted yourself to survival. The infection is in us all. Even alive, it is as if I still have had some of my humanity stripped from me. The few laughs, tears and emotions I feel almost seem sacred now like sand that threatens to slip right through my fingers. And then there is her. Clementine. I open my eyes and there she is, crouched in the sand, tracing designs. Designs that may soon be lost underneath spilled blood. The faintest smile is on her face, as if like me, she is enjoying these few precious minutes of peace. She tilts her head up, her eyes looking up from her work.

"What are you doing sweetheart?" Kenny's voice is carried by the wind to me, even though he speaks quietly, kindly. My breath catches slightly in my throat. He looks better even though his eyes are still duller then they were when we first met.

"Drawing." Clementine replies. She sounds older. All of us have changed, aged, grown.

"Very Nice." Kenny approved. He smiles down affectionately at her, but it quickly disappears, replaced by a more reserved expression. "You seen Lee?"

Clementine nods, her eyes finding mine. She lifts her small, fragile hands and points my way. I always noticed how small she is.

Kenny murmurs something to her that is too quiet for me to here. The wind blows through his hair and he grabs his hat pulling it more firmly onto his head. He takes his first step toward me. My heart rate speeds up, and I cast my eyes downward to keep him from seeing the look in my eyes.

"Lee." I did not realize how quickly he was walking, his voice is right beside me.

"Hey Kenny." I reply, looking up and smirking at him. He smiles back half-heartedly. God, the things even a half smile from him can do to my heart. "You okay?" He nods. Kenny looks down at the rock, a silent question. Realizing he wants to talk, I slide over on the cold stone but there is limited space. He settles down on the rock, leaning his head against the tree behind us. I am painfully aware of how close we are sitting to one another. Every movement he makes causes his forearm to brush against mine and our knees to bang together. I fight to keep my breathing even but it is obvious that I am failing miserably. Kenny does not seem to notice, in fact, he seems more comfortable than I have seen him in days.

"You're my friend, right Lee?" _Friend._ His words are like a sharp blade slicing open my insides; unbearable. Kenny—my best friend. I study his face, in a way that friend's should not, taking in every detail from the angles of his eyes to the shapes of his lips. I realize that I have been looking at him for too long and still haven't answered him. I search for my voice, and when I find it, it sounds fake and thin.

"Of course, bud." Kenny stares at me for a long time. I wonder if like me he is trying to memorize my face. But I know better than to assume that, he is most likely trying to read what I am thinking about. I almost laugh; he surely does not want to know what I am thinking. A long silence stretches between us and he is the first to look away, turning his gaze to the sky that has almost darkened completely. The sun barely peeks above the horizon but it is enough to paint pink and orange tones on his face.

"Ken…" I start, my voice low and unsure. He doesn't look at me, and I swear I saw a tear roll down his cheek. "About your family…" Kenny breathes in deeply enough to stop me. Finally, his warm eyes meet mine again.

"Do you miss your family?" Kenny murmured in a voice so raw that I wonder if I even know who the real Kenny is. If this is him.

"God Ken… of course I do. I miss my family but I have Clem… I have… "

"I'm your family too, Lee. We're in this together now." I take a deep, stuttering breath trying to comprehend what Kenny is implying. Kenny's face was serious and slightly shaken, as if he too was unsure as to why he had spoken out loud. I felt a painful emotion burn through my veins. As much as I knew that Kenny had meant it in an innocent way, a part of me wanted to believe he too had feelings that were more than friendly when it came to our relationship. The space between me and him had gotten even more miniscule. We practically shared the same air. I wanted so badly to lean forward, to tell him it's okay to miss them to, to hold him. But I didn't. Instead I levelled the same look at him as he gave me, knowing that once you cross that line you can't go back.

"You're my best friend, man. You know that, right?" Kenny's voice was shaky and I felt his breath against my lips, a feeling that was both welcome and terrible. He looked so broken, a man with nothing left, yet he still fought. I often found myself wondering why he did. Keep fighting, I mean. At first I thought it might be his instincts, but it has become obvious to me that it is more than that. I can see it now. Our family. It almost makes me smile, the thought of it. A family with my best friend…

"I know." I reply. The corners of his lips raise, lifting his mustache. He must look different without it; younger, more innocent maybe. He tilts his head slightly, and self-consciously cups the back of his neck with his right hand. _I love you._ It would be so easy to say, those three words. They were true too. I loved Clementine, I loved my family, and I loved Kenny. I loved him in more ways then I should have, in more ways than I thought imaginable, in more ways than he would ever love me.

"Ken." He puts down his hand, and our hands are so close that they almost touch. It would be simple to move my hand and wind my fingers through his. "Can I ask you something?"

"Anything." His voice is breathier than normal; he almost sound like he needs to catch his breath. _Do you love me too?_ I search his face, the hard lines and soft curves. I love Kenny, and although it nearly kills me to be his best friend, I know it would be even worse to see him walk away now. I can't risk that, we're family, and no matter how much it hurts me, I won't push anything on him. Especially my feelings. So instead of asking anything dangerous, all I ask is when he wants to leave. Kenny doesn't answer me, and it is obvious that we are both thinking the same thing: _Never_. Our fingers brush lightly, Kenny's hand gently pressing against mine before moving back to its original place. We both stare into the now star-filled sky, with a steady rock underneath us and a thousand unspoken words crammed into the almost inexistent space between us.


End file.
